Beginning Life Crisis

Humorous title, isn't it? I feel as if I am in a crisis. One which paves the way to my future. My life has changed drastically over the past 6 months and my dreams have followed in that pursuit for change. I read some of these old posts and I am astounded by who I am today... I have become such a different human being from what I used to be! CHANGE. What a scary word, yet totally amazing. CHANGE. UGH! CHANGE. You just kind of have to let it ring of the tongue... or in this case, roll off your fingers. As I begin to type, I have the feeling of not wanting to stop. I want to continue to blurt out everything that is going through my mind, my heart, my soul. Words move me and putting them on here is a delight. Yet I am scared. I am afraid of facing the secrets that abide in me... in my dreams, in my reality. I am fearful that if I keep typing all my treasures and demons will just slowly unveil themselves on this form. Why am I even typing it here? Anyone can read this... and only one of my best friends really reads these anyway. Oh well, enough with my sporadic thoughts. I come here today to give an account of my life, cause to be honest... it has been a long time since I have posted something on here. I am doing well. Working towards my degree and remaing patient in this stagnant growth (meaning I gain my future by staying in one place... in taking classes day in and day out.). I am enjoying the process to the best of my availability and I am excited to see how my summer goes (again, I will be in class all summer! Woo.). I have two jobs... well three if you count Disney. Except I just put in my two weeks so perhaps I only have two jobs now! One seasonal and one main job. It is a blessing to have :] I am very thankful for both of my places that I work and that I am finally reaping the gifts of them both! So glad that the sacrifice of low paying jobs is finally over (hopefully for the rest of my life!). My relationships with my friends have never been better! I don't think I have ever depended and given so much to a group of oustanding people as I have with my current group of friends. Frienship is a large term with many conotations. But what do my friends mean to me today? They are people that I truly love. That I will do just about anything for. I give them advice, I lift them up with inspiration. We laugh, we cry, we ponder the problems in our lives, we offer support for the hardships, and most of all we try our best to have a great time everyday :] Whether it is someone I love down the road or in Canada, the amount of LOVE and support that has come towards me lately by my relationships is phenomonal. Thankful is an understatement. I am humbled in the beautiful reality of my friendships. God has blessed me so much! God! You, you, you. You. I love You. I don't know where to begin or what to say. If I stop and comprehend what you are doing... I am baffled. I am in awe at how grand You are and what You are doing in my life. I am such a mess! I constantly question everything You are doing. And the wonderful thing about my relationship right now is that I am growing right now. Growth. I am leaning on Him for so much more and I have finally let go of everything in my life! (It was a problem I have been facing... but I am thankful that I put my trust in Him now... where it belongs.). Lord, I have so many problems, so many questions, and I am so fearful... but by Your grace I am saved and am taken care of! WHY WORRY!? There is nothing to worry about! God you have it all under control and You know what the best is for me! I need to let go. I Let Go. LET GO... Intimacy. My love life is a battlefield. Thankfully with still the same partner, but man has it been rough. This area of my life has been the most difficult and upseting lately. Love with another human being is one of the most complicated and frustrating things ever... I hate it. Yet it is one of the greatest joys that I have ever encountered. It isn't just the distance either. It is us. It is realizing your entire relationship was built on unrealitic expecations. It is realizing that you have to fully trust the other person or your relationship will fail. It is REALIZING that it doesn't matter what you do... you can not control another person. I can't decide what he wants. I can't read his mind. Love is a marathon. That's why you get tired so fast... you need to pace yourself. I'm exhausted and on the verge of throwing in the towel. I swear the worst pain is having your heart being pierced with fear, rejection, or a break up. Yet I come back for more. This area is probably where most of my troubles are residing... and I pray everyday that things will get better. I just have to remain patient and hope that they will. And lastly comes my relationship with myself. How am I? How are you Zach? It sounds like you are busy, scared, and highly loved. I am great. Because no matter what I face I know that all of it only adds to my existance. I want so desperately to LIVE my life, and I am thankful that I have become the person that goes out and seeks actual circumstances/events/dreams in my life and make them a reality! It's nice to get out of the day dreams and live my life to the fullest. So there it is. My life as of March 28, 2011 at 7:54PM. I've got a long way to go in this life, but I am going to soak up every ounce of it. :] God Bless, Zachary Gunier

2011!

OH MY GOSH. I JUST SPENT 30 MINUTES TYPING UP AN AMAZING BLOG POST AND IT DIDN'T SAVE.


Awe man :[ Well I guess maybe this month I won't post anyting... but it was really good, I promise!

Shoot! haha.

oh well, I hope everyone has a great month! Maybe I'll post again in February!

Love,

Zacharryy

End of Another Chapter

Wow, it has been so long since I have posted anything on here. I feel like I say that a lot lately on this thing... or at least concerning the fact that I haven't posted words since September! So much has changed since then. And again I am ready for another adventure to end & for the next season of my life to begin, which is incredible!

I am ecstatic about starting college back up again! I'm luckily coming to a close with my Disney Internship which I am happy with. Not that I didn't learn TONS while I was here, but because I am ready to move on from the program. I'm ready to become a seasonal cast member here with the Walt Disney company & get my butt back in the classroom and the theatre! I'm nervous about the classroom, but I do miss the stage.

As I do come to a close here I feel as if I should reflect on my time here and ponder the wonderful & not so wonderful things I've learned here. But the truth is I can't explain all the things I've learned!!!! I have completely learned so much that I don't think I can retrace all my steps! As a human being, I have grown immensely! From understanding people and their intentions on a deeper level to having so many crazy experiences to having so many relationships. I have been blessed to be in an environment where I have been challenged to grow so quickly in such a small amount of time. I don't think I'll ever be the same!

I remember all the great times I've had with friends here and the ridiculous things we've done! From getting tattoos to beach trips to dinners to dancing all night to many, many drunk adventures to just being completely & utterly crazy for no reason! It's so crazy to think of all the goals I've accomplished here and how that has shaped and continued to shape me into a more rounded person. I'm going to miss the all day tanning days to Tigger bouncing around all day to the smiles on the children's faces when they see magic come to life at Disney World.

I may have to end this short now because I have to go, but I just wanted to touch base here & explain how thankful I am for all that has been brought into my life and how much I'm going to miss this magical place. The people, the events, the concept, the constant thriving life of all these people working towards the same goal. It'll be great to look back on all these memories and say "Wow, man... I lived. I really grasped every opportunity that summer and on & embraced life to the fullest."

And I believe I still am today :] These past couple weeks I have been challenged more than I have my whole time here! Or at least from an introspective point of view. Relationships can be difficult, but his persistence to continue to still pursue me and not give up is really impressive. I am glad I am persistent too, because if not I don't think I'd be in a relationship right now! Yet with all the effort we are placing into this to work, it just shows true colors as to how much we care for each other. How much we both want this to work, about how much closer we want to to get to each other & be there to help each other at any point we are in need.

I can boldly say without a shadow of a doubt that I trust him. That I believe and know in my heart that his word is the truth. And that's all I can do. Man, it feels good to say that! I completely trust him! Plus, if anything happens, oh well... then he wasn't worthy enough to have me anyway! I love how God is working through this to relationship to show me how much I need to work on myself. It's fantastic! And I adore Matthew so much. I really do. I'm blessed to have known him now & to continue to know him. I have learned so much from him... and I'm excited for where we are going to take this relationship!

Although we may be distant for a period of time, distance only makes the heart grow fonder.

Bottom line, I'm doing really well. I've received incredible opportunities here and I continue to achieve to higher places of success in my own life. Praise God! Thank you Father for standing by me through everything. So cheers! Here is to the next six months of my life! *Lifts glass

Amen ;]

- ZACH

Taking A Stand

I need to take a stand. I need to take a stand in my obedience to my true & only love, God. I fail Him everyday. It kills me inside & my spirit feels the nothingness start to envelop as I succeed in more mischevious deeds. It's like a constant tug-a-war for balance and deciding what is best for my well being. Cause in all honesty, I understand that God is the only thing that truly means everything to me in this life... yet I act now as if He is on hold.

This mind set is wrong in so many ways and I see my faults. I feel the outcome of the decisions I make. It is a rollar coaster of emotions and at times I know God is with me, while other times I feel death inside of me. Nothingness. (Is that even a word?)

I've read the books. I know the teachings. I've studied the word all my life & continue to do today. I know what I am supposed to be doing & I know all the pieces, the signs, the warnings fit. Everything that the Holy Spirit prompts me with is for my own good and I continue to ignore it. Then in the time of need when sin takes me, I cry out to God. Praying the Holy Spirit willl fill me again.

I'm borderline here. I'm playing a double agent. Two cards. I'm reading the books of good & evil and it tears the soul to shreds. One person can only go so long... especially when they know the value of the good (the light) of this world. Goodness is supreme & reigns... yet is difficult to grasp at first and take lots of patience. Darkness is a lie. It is a wonderous lie that tells you something is brilliant beyond all compare... but in the end you are left empty handed. But evil is tasty and gives a momentary, easy high. Good is peaceful & rare to come upon, it is an everlasting high.

I write this and share this with you all today because I understand that I am a sinner. I am a terrible, terrible sinner. I am shrouded in pride & lust. I talk behind other people's backs. I judge everyone I meet, putting them in catagories before I even get to know them... I am a rebelious child in the search for love. While all along I just have to go home & realize love was here all along...



Please pray for me and understand the severity of my words. I speak out as an act of faith. As a public declaration of my stand in Christ.

I talk with Him everyday, yet I miss our intimacy. I love God. I love Him with all of my heart.

Thank you for caring,

Zachary Gunier

To Infinity And Beyond!

Alright guys, I am finally reaching out back to my blog and making myself post something before I make up another excuse to not. I love blogging because it can be therapeutic and helps you focus in on your life. But yes, if it hasn't been obvious the last 3 months I have been working & living at Walt Disney World.

This experience has been absolutely life changing and has taught me more then I could have ever asked for. I feel as if my time down here on my own in Orlando, Florida has taken me into an adult status that I have never truly been given. And let me tell you, the freedom is incredible... but the danger is all around.

There are so many dark, bad people in this world! haha. I know it sounds crazy that I am starting my first post in months with this subject but it's true. I have been devoured and used while i've spent time down here by some bad people. Just in the sense of how they treat me and use me as a friend cause of my positivity. But praise the Lord I have cut those leeches out of my life and focused in on my real friends!

Anyway, besides that random spurt of letting that junk out... I have been having the time of my life! Oh my goodness! I WORK at the happiest place on Earth! I get up every morning and make kids dreams become a reality! Am I able to comprehend the gift I've been given? I am unbelieveably thankful for what has been given to me and the role I have been given!

My friends Tigger & Eeyore are such a gift. Eeyore is sweet cause he really makes people happy by being sad & adorable. People do love Eeyore. And then Tigger is my baby.. gosh I love Tigger. I am completely a Tigger in real life too haha! But Tigger is fantastic because all I get to really do is brighten up people's day! I get to bounce all over the place & Tigger is curious about a lot of things... so I have fun by doing things that you normally wouldn't expect from a character. It's great fun!

Bottom line, (Cause I have to get up at 5 AM to go do dinning at Crystal Palace!) I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams that I get to bring these Disney characters to life every single day. Not to mention am currently in Disney's Electrical Light Parade and in rehearsals for Mickey's Boo To You Halloween Parade!!! AHHH! So blesssed! Praise the Lord! I hope everyone is doing well in their endavours! And I hope the absolute best for everyone! God bless you all!

- Zachary

Waiting, Wishing, Walking..

Waiting. Oh, the waiting the waiting the waiting! THE WAITINGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

I have exactly 11 more days until I brace the next front of my life. And in this time between finally being done with my freshman year of college (Praise God!) and facing my employment with the Walt Disney Company... I find myself_waiting_. ______-_____-_____-____-_____-____-

I don't know why I just put those signs. But I thought they would represent what is going on in my life. Pretty much... nothing. Which stinks! But at the same time that the "nothing" seems to be happening.. something much deeper and respectful is also happening. God is working through me. And can I just start off by saying how wonderful it is to have Him as my one & only source of communication? I spend about 18 hours of my day within the span of these four walls. Trapped. Developing the virtue of patience. While the other hours of my day consist of being a domesticated son (this entails picking up the kids, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, taking out the trash, making meals, etc.). It is so not me guys. It really isn't.. but I CAN respect His plan in this period of my life.

The good Lord is teaching me to become humble with my life, even with the presence of friends & opportunities gone in my life. And I can really respect that because at the end of the day, having that type of discipline in ones life will pay off. I don't need to have anything but Him... and that's enough.

Okay, maybe I'm not making my point very clearly... but do you understand the gist of what I'm saying? He is strengthening me to be joyful with my life, even with the presence of what sometimes matters the most (events in life & social communication) gone. It really sucks sometimes.. well a lot of the time. And even with this time I've been given, I'm making use of it. I am able to work on myself & my relationship with God before I receive the wonderful gift awaiting me.

Regardless, I'm almost there. Next week is my last week in Georgia for the rest of this year. It's really weird when I think about it. But it's all good. I'm enjoying the thrill that this new journey is already putting in my life. Praise God.

Continue to stay strong & examine your own life and question where He is working next. Amen!

- Zachary

The Soul of a Man

I've realized the rut we as men can sometimes get into. It's a lifestyle rut, one built upon our own selfish desires & lust. I know as a man I can easily be mean to women and the like around me, and society welcomes it with open arms. I can have sex with a different person every other day of the week and this can be looked at as a thing of great pride (I do not have sex with a person every other day of the week, it's just an example ;] ). Not saying I'm perfect and don't make mistakes...cause I do all the time.

But as a child of the Almighty God, what is expected of me? Is this how He wants to see most men on this Earth? I guess I realized this rut cause I've never been here before. Obviously with my best friend's brother's death been weighing on my shoulders & the stress of school, I haven't been in the "healthiest" place spiritually. I am pretty weak people. I give in to temptation WAY too easily. So how do I fix this? DISCIPLINE.

Jesus Christ, the man we all love and know built His life on this amazing principal. And as a college boy sweeping with the tides, I find it hard to adhere to a steady dose of discipline. But regardless folks... I understand that if I don't start to change soon, it's all going to catch up with me. I can't live my entire life in a small rut as this. This young man has way too much passion & dreams to stay confined. I need to start fighting again, for what I love & want. And luckily I have a once in a lifetime opportunity coming up very soon... almost a month from now. BUT That's a whole month people lol. That's a long time to some.

Patience, discipline, passion, love, dreams, fighting. I know where my spirit desires to be, so let's go! No more sitting around, slouching off as I type another paper or judge the person I love on stage or critisize or be a freakin douche bag. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE GOT THAT LATELY!? Ha ha. Too much.

Thus let's stop acting like a douchey, lustful jerk (regular guy)... and transform into a passionate, kind follower of Jesus Christ (not your average guy).

Forgive me for my french or honesty, but people... we need to wake up sometimes & realize the world around us. And I'm not afraid to reveal my mistakes. Praise God!

Hope your week is wonderful, fullfilling, & peaceful:


Zach Gunier