Passion is unknown. I have no clue what I am supposed to be doing; I believe I have an idea but the promise has yet to come. So while I am waiting for the next "audition" (being in exactly 9 days) I can not come to grips with what I should be doing. I know God has me kicking and screaming for something but I hardly can tap into what this is.
This past Sunday I finally returned to church after a long summer of job hours, rehearsals, & friends... lots and lots of my friends. But through all the husle and busle I still felt uneasy with my walk with the Lord. I stayed active and rejoyced from time to time in the joy He would bestow upon me when I was with Him, but I knew there was something missing... my foundation if you will. I see the error of my ways from that, mostly in fellowship. God made us to help each other out in the difficulties of life and I did not have a solid stream of fellow christians in my wake.
So just like all these other posts I have published in the past I am yet again a big mess. I am so hopefull for next week's orientation with my new "family" (theater 'GTA' orientation) where we will talk about future goals and sharing in fellowship over a nice dinner next tuesday and wednesday. It is all I have been waiting for for so long but I feel like I want to commit to something huge now. I just took a shower in which I juggled different ideas in my head into what I can do.
I love music. and ofcourse theater. that much is obvious. But to actually be an activist for something and stand for an incredible feat is something I desire more than the selfishness of focusing constantly on myself (it kind of comes with the whole theater job, one's piece of work is themselves as they push to further themselves). I want to go out into the world and meet interesting people and help them in one way or another. I have no clue on how to do this or even where to start... but it is my prayer. Lord, I pray that You will please come into my life and make me a living sacrifice in which You bestow the gift of helping others. God I want to go out into the world and help my fellow brothers and sisters.... but I am lost and can not find the clear path to reaching that goal... Please help me Father... Please Dad.
I think this post helped me more then it probably did or will anyone else but I can not convey the extreme desire in my heart to stand for whats true and what I belive in and share that with the world. All for His glory... :] thank You Jesus.
amen.
-zachary gunier.. out.
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